We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, blah blah blah…
For a lot of us we cannot understand why someone would not love the holidays. For it is the happiest time of the year, right!? Not for all, for some people it causes a great deal of stress, worry, anxiety, or feeling low and depressed. According to an article in Psychology Today, 45% of North Americans dread the festive season. Now this article was from 2010 and I wonder if that number is even higher today?
The article explains that the reason so many of us dread the festive season is that it appears to have to do with unrealistic expectations and excessive self-reflection for many of us. Some people get depressed and even angry because of the excessive commercialization of Christmas, feeling pressure to spend money on gifts, social events and dinners, getting more into debt to “please” others. Others because Christmas and New Year’s is a trigger to engage in excessive self-reflection and inadequacies of life compared to others (victim mentality), others feel pressure to spend time with family or others they do not like to be around. Can you relate to this?
I can totally relate to a lot of these reasons this holiday season, I started to feel the worry and stress mid-October, when I started to think about and wonder how we were going to come up with extra funds for presents and dinners, when it was a struggle to pay bills every month, let alone all the other stuff. The self-reflection part I can also relate to as this year has been a year of huge change for me, taking the massive leap and risk of quitting my “job” and starting my own business. Would I change that decision though? Not for a minute, but I definitely learnt the hard way, and will share with anyone saying they are wanting to start their own business, that you definitely need several months’ salary saved up as a cushion to get you through the months until your business really gets going after months of dedicated, committed and focused work. I am grateful to say that I do not relate to the stress mentioned above that is caused by being around people you don’t like though, as I am so blessed to say that I am at a point in my life now where I DO love being around all my family and friends, and that all the negative and toxic people have been removed.
If you or someone you know struggles for their own reasons that they may or may not understand, I hope to be able to help with some tips to get through this time of year. Please feel free to share this BLOG in hopes to help more beautiful souls:
Acknowledge your feelings, allow yourself to feel what you are feeling, don’t try to bury it or
ignore it, let yourself sit in it for a few minutes or more, and then release it. It might help to say to yourself something like, “ok, I am feeling sad right now, where do I feel it in my body, ok its ok to feel that, I allow it” Then after a few minutes when it starts to dissipate, say “ok, thank you for showing me and now I can release”. It may help to go into a separate room by yourself or even the bathroom to go through this process. I realized several years ago that this was my biggest hindrance from healing, I would do everything I could to NOT feel, I would run from it. So of course I had a lot of negative patterns in my life from running.
Remember that to heal and feel better, we have to feel the feeling, but we do not need to become the emotion. For example, you may say “I hate the holidays”, then yes you will and you are. You can re-frame it to say to yourself, “I am opening myself up to learn to accept and enjoy the holidays”.
If funds are tight and there is little funds available for presents, then talk to your family and
explain and I am sure they will understand. Ask what they would value instead of something that costs money. They may come up with ideas that you never thought about! For example, maybe they love your baking and would be happy with that! Or maybe would rather spend the afternoon going to the mountains for a walk with you, or you could do something that costs low money but has a lot of thought into it. My daughter last year got me a calendar that was done at a print shop and cost under $25 that had a different picture of us as a family on every month. I absolutely LOVED it! Maybe your family loves your cooking and baking and you can type up a recipe book for them with your recipes?
Be grateful. No matter how bad things seem we can always find something to be grateful for. It pulls you out of the negative place. For example, being bullied at my job, having my health go downhill as a result, and then knowing I had to leave. I looked back and realized that I was so grateful it all happened because I needed that big push to leave and pursue my passion and follow my dreams with Daysdream.